life is hard....

hoho!!! Hello... unhappy story again... :\
Yeah... life is hard... everyone have their own life problem but it is really hard for me to settle my problem.... I have no even one person want to help me.... I only get support.... :\ that is nice but not enough yet.... I know how to solve my problem but time did not let me do it....
hehe. anyway , I believe in myself that...... All my problems can be solve even it is so hard to be solve.... The important is... NEVER GIVE UP!!! ^^
Tonight I will not sleep because I want to settle all my homeworks so that tomorrow my day will not be bad... so.... blog will accompany me all night and I will update my blog time by time :) LIFE MUST GO ON ! DON'T YOU EVER GIVE UP YOUNG SEO ! ^-^ YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF ! :)

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I go to school !!!!!!! Seriously I say , I am very happy that I'M BACK TO SCHOOL !!!!! ^^
I love today !!!!!!! I love my school !!!!! :D I am very happy that I am not skip school today ! Its good to be back ... love my school , love my teachers and love all my friends and also LOVE HIM!!!!! XD
I really miss to see his face ... hehe. I guess he do not know that I like him ... BUT! ITS OKAY! it is better if like this ... Thanks god for help me today !!! I LOVE YOU GOD !!!^^
I will try to maintain myself just like now .:) I do not want to make the same mistake ... oh ya ! you know , I tell my friend it will be very nice if I have boyfriend ... and then my friend laugh because suddenly I talk about boyfriend ... haha. And I say to her ... "what??? Its not just like I wanna touch him or what ... I want boyfriend because it will be nice if every night we have webcam and study together through webcam ..." and my friend just quiet ... haha. and then she joke "do u want me to be your girlfriend?" And I laugh ... I say thats not call boyfriend , it will call girlfriend ... after that we just laugh ... haha. It is really nice can come back to school. thats all for today . I'll see ya later and have a nice day :)

I HATE MYSELF...

HWAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW????
I DID NOT COME TO SCHOOL AGAIN AND I HATE IT !!!!!!!!!
I HATE I HATE I HATE !!!!!!!!!!!!
I don not want to dissappoint my parents but I guess I might make my parents feel dissappoint of me ...
I feel just like want to hit myself but its no use ... even if I hit myself , its no use ... my heart really hurt ... just like yesterday , I am crying in the morning ... last night I have a great night because I talked with him ... ^^ althought we only talk for an hour ... I still feel very happy because finally I got the chance to talk with him after a long time appology because reply late ...hehe . althought we not really in a true relationship but I still feel happy when get chance to talk with him ... I always start my day with not the good way ....  I HATE ITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanna go to school ... actually , I love to go to school but I don not know what's wrong with myself for not missed the school many many many times ... I guess thats all for this morning ... I'll see ya later ... :) Have a nice day ..

our friendship is over :')

Hello !!!! I want my friendship with him over ... It is better for him ... I always make him feel sad and I don't like it ...:(
He is a nice namja ... we always talk , joke, share problem and so on ...
But ... I always make him feel sad ...
In other word , we always fight .... =_=
But I can't leave him .. I'm afraid he will do something bad to himself ... >_<
I hope he can foget my cousin and I also hope he will forget me ... I give him so much trouble ... Actually , I didn't say about this to him yet ... I need to think more deeply .... I don't want to make wrong decision .... Do you think , how will his reaction ?? I think I know ... :( He will be very sad... I wil find the right time to tell him ... I will tell when he don't have any problem that he need to worry about ...

p/s : I'm jealous with couple that taking care of each other .. I don't know if there will someone that will like me for who I am ... I am very upset girl.. Because it is hard to find REAL GUY t

STUPID STUPID STUPID! !!!

i am stupid girl ... seriously ....
it's not that i am not smart girl ...
it just i always do stupid things ...
because of the stupid things ... i always make my tears flow from my eyes ...
and its make me so tension ...
i did not hate anyone but ... I REALLY HATE MYSELF !!!! :'(
i give advice to my younger brother but i really should not do that ... i'm not deserve to do that .. because what i advice to my younger brother .. i am the one that do it ... I AM SUCKKKKK !!!!!!!!!
it already almost THREE YEARS !!!!!!! i try my best to change to a better person .... BUT I CAN'T DO IT !!!!!!!!! WHHHYYYYYY WHHHYYYY ?????? all i can do is crying ... i want to do my best for my parents ... i do not want then to dissappoint of me ... i really really really do not know what to do ... i always hurt people that around me ... should i go somewhere that people  won notpp